‘My boyfriend lied to me to go to another party’

I have been in a relationship with a boy of my age for a while. He was nice at the start but, after a period of time, his attitude towards me changed. Yesterday, I organised a get-together at my home and invited him along with a few of my friends. He told me he wouldn’t be able to make it because he was going out of station. I was hurt when I learned from his mother that he had simply gone to another friend’s place for a party. I wouldn’t have been upset if he had told me the real reason. It’s the lie that hurts. This was not the first time either. My friends tell me he is not worthy of my love and I should wait for someone who really cares for me. I am really confused. Please help. — Vedant K

The problem with lies isn’t always the lie itself; it’s why the person concerned feels the need to lie in the first place. I suggest you try and figure that out, if possible. Is he afraid of you? Does he assume you won’t be okay with the truth? Is he simply callous? Does he always take liberties with the truth? Are you doing something that intimidates him and makes it easier to lie? Answers to these will help you understand why this relationship has changed if, as you say, he wasn’t like this at the start. All relationships evolve, of course, and not always for the better, but maybe a heart-to-heart chat with him will help clear the air. If it doesn’t, at least it should help you re-evaluate the importance you have given this man in your life and figure out if it’s worth the effort.

Is it possible for two people to claim to be in love with each other and then cheat on each other repeatedly over a period of time?

I would have to say that this doesn’t sound possible. There is definitely something wrong here.

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