‘After our break-up, our friends are taking sides’


I belong to a tight circle of friends and we have been together since childhood because we live in the same locality. A year ago, I began dating a girl from the same circle. We broke up after a few months because things didn’t work out, but since then, some of my friends have begun taking sides. When they go out, they don’t always call me. When I confronted them about it, one of them said it made things awkward for everyone because the girl didn’t want to go out with me in the same group. Things have deteriorated to such an extent that I don’t even feel like going out with them when they do call me. This is extremely sad because we used to be close friends. I don’t want to lose them, but I don’t know how I can change things for the better. What should I do?

Things are always awkward for friends when a relationship ends. They are compelled to pick sides, whether they like to or not, simply because one person in the relationship will insist on them not supporting the other one. I suggest you meet them all, along with your ex-girlfriend, and tell them how you feel. If they recognise and value the friendship you have all shared for so long, they may put the past behind them and move on. If you’re not comfortable meeting them all together, chat with each of them individually and put across your point of view. I also suggest giving your ex-girlfriend time and space to deal with this. If she doesn’t want to see you, that is understandable. In time, considering she is also an old friend, you may be able to hang out together once more. The only thing required here is patience. Meet as many of your friends as you can, whenever possible, because that will help heal this rift a lot faster. Don’t let a broken relationship with one person ruin things with your childhood friends.

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