Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
My friend wants me to decide whether or not the boy she is dating is someone she should get into a relationship with. I don’t want to make that kind of decision because I don’t want to be blamed later if it doesn’t work out. What do I tell her?
Why can’t you tell her what you just said? That you don’t want to be blamed if it doesn’t work out? She’s your friend, so why can’t you just be honest about how you feel?
I detect a pattern of constant negativity in my boyfriend. He is never really happy about anything, no matter what happens. If he has a great birthday party, some little thing will ruin it for him. If we watch a great movie, he will be upset at the end of it because there’s a traffic jam. If I get him something nice to surprise him, he will find some fault in it and wonder why I didn’t get him something else. This is a constant habit and it’s really getting on my nerves because I am a very positive person. His behaviour constantly drags me down and I don’t want to turn into someone like him. How can I get him to change?
Negativity is a powerful force that can drag someone down, along with everyone in his or her orbit. It’s great that you’re a positive person, because it means you are probably helping to keep him afloat. I suggest you get him to speak to a professional, because someone needs to evaluate where this negativity comes from. Is it a sign of depression, for instance? Also, try and understand why he feels the way he does. It’s obvious that you care about him, but it’s also important for him to know that you have to deal with his negativity and that it affects you, too. He should be aware of the consequences of his actions, especially if he assumes they don’t affect anyone but himself.
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