‘My mother thinks my girlfriend is not perfect for me’


Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

Dr LoveHow do I convince my mother that my girlfriend is perfect for me? She keeps thinking I will find someone better, just because she doesn’t understand her very well. I want the two of them to get along, because they are both important to me. How do I make this happen?
She won’t understand her until the two of them spend some time together and make an attempt to. To begin with, ask your mother if she wants to understand your girlfriend, and explain to her why she must try. You can’t understand another person until you are open enough to give another point of view an opportunity. Speak to them both and tell them why this is important to you.

My boyfriend was great during the first year we were together, but something has changed over the past couple of months. He is now openly abusive, which came as a shock to me because he was always polite and well-behaved before. He now abuses me the minute we have an argument and, when I ask him to stop saying stuff like that and behave himself, he abuses me even more. A week ago, he almost slapped me. I saw him raise his hand and then pull back, because he must have seen my reaction. He apologised the next day, but it didn’t seem like a genuine apology. I am afraid of him now, because his temper is out of control. I don’t want to be with someone abusive, who doesn’t respect me and actually threatens me with physical violence. Is this reason enough for me to end this relationship?
It is. End it today. Don’t spend a minute with anyone who doesn’t respect you. If he threatens you with violence again, please walk into the nearest police station and file a complaint against him. Don’t allow anyone to get away with this sort of behaviour. Relationships work only when there is mutual respect, and you deserve to be with someone who understands that.

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